Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 16

DAY 16:
Back to work today, and I am unhappy that I am at a weight stand-still.  I am going to stick to my 2-hour drink plan as best I can today.  All went okay.  In the evening, I made a soup and smashed it up instead of puree-ing the veggies.  My husband caught me chewing a little bit.

Oh well, it's almost over.  I'm just trying to get through it.

I'm starting to read over and plan for the 7 days after the detox ends.  You can't just start eating regular food again right away, as it would be a shock to your system, and could potentially make you very very sick.  You have to wean yourself back on to real food.  A small salad never sounded so good to me!

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Days 13, 14, 15

DAYS 13, 14, 15:
Weight:  Hovering between 149 - 151.  No weight loss since Day 11.


Fortunately, I am feeling better after a horrid Day 12.  I ended up taking 2 hour-long naps that day in between work appointments, then fell asleep on the couch around 7:30pm and was done for the night.  I think I was just waaaay off my schedule and not getting enough nutrients, and my body sure let me know about it!  At that point in time, I was so sick of the disgusting drinks and disgusting soup that I'd rather not eat at ALL than have to choke that stuff down.

On Day 13, I decided to stray from the rules just a bit.  I added a potato to my broccoli soup.  I left it in the crock pot for an extra long time so everything was soft.  Then, instead of putting it into the blender, I mashed it all up with a fork.  I still didn't have to chew, and the consistency was a lot better.  I also started really experimenting with some new spices that I've never tried before - I am really liking Tumeric and Curry Powder.  I guess they are Indian seasonings, but they are spicy and great, and help me forget that I'm still just eating veggies.  I also started making smaller batches of soup.  If I have to put them in the fridge overnight, I will NOT eat them the next day.  Not sure why, but they just look disgusting and I can't bring myself to reheat it.

On top of my soup troubles, I did go to GNC to buy some more green drink powder.  I bought a canister that was on sale for $19.99.  I figured, "what the hell."  After I tasted it and suppressed a vomiting spell, I again was thinking, "WHAT THE HELL!?!"  This stuff tastes and smells worse than the first green drink I had.  Sure, it dissolves in water much better, but the taste is so bitter and terrible that I put off having it.  Once again, I just have to chug it down and do my best not to yak.  I'm sure that "you get what you pay for" should come into play now, because my BFF Ashley who was doing the detox with me said her green drinks tasted great.

My weekend, Days 14 and 15, were pretty busy for me, work-wise.  I was out driving around town showing houses all weekend, and as much as I tried to keep my schedule up, I just couldn't.  I did, however, make "spinach soup" for dinner, which was basically spinach cooked extra long in water.  I added a little vinegar and ate it.  Again, I didn't put it in the blender, but it was soft enough that I didn't have to chew it, and it tasted great!  I have always loved spinach.  I may be living on it for the rest of this diet, because that's the only thing that has sounded remotely good here lately.

I am now past the point of needing to stay FAR away from any kind of real food, or averting my gaze and focusing hard on something else when I drive by Taco Bell.  Now I WANT to see and smell food.  I talk about food all the time.  I ask my husband and daughter how their food tastes.  I can prepare food and know that I won't let myself lick the fork and/or plate.  I look at recipes online all the time.  In my defense, I am actually looking for low-cal and low-sodium recipes to collect.  I'm reading up a lot on sodium and how to stay away from it.  I would say that a majority of my weight loss has been from losing "water weight".  I realize that I have to change my - and my family's - eating habits.  No more box dinners, frozen foods, fast food, etc.  I need to start cooking actual MEALS, and healthy ones at that.  I'm hoping to find a lot of good healthy crock pot recipes, and I'm collecting recipes for healthy burritos, mini pizzas, etc. that I can put in the freezer to try to replace some of our normal store-bought, sodium-ridden frozen foods.  My family is on board with a change, so we'll see what happens.

Day 15 (Sunday):  I slept in and didn't get started with my drink schedule until 10:30am or so.  I also made myself the kidney/liver flush drink that I was supposed to have done on Day 6 (couldn't find parsley - go figure).  I don't know if I even made it right, because parsley and other leafy veggies just don't juice well in a conventional juicer.  You need a special "wheatgrass" juicer for that type of stuff.  So, out of 2 large bunches of parsley, I got maybe MAYBE a 1/4 c. of juice.  The rest was just basically chopped up and dumped into the "garbage bin" of the juicer.  (NOTE:  There was a LOT of chopped up parsley, and I didn't want to throw it away, so I spread it out on some paper towels and let it dry out.  I'm going to put it in an herb shaker and keep it to use as a "seasoning".)  I dumped in 1/4 c. of organic Black Cherry juice (which is great tasting)  and drank it.  Within 5 minutes, I was in the bathroom taking the crap of a lifetime.  For the next 8 - 10 hours, I was in the bathroom about every 15 minutes.  Terrible gas, terrible cramping, etc.  To spare you the gory details, let's just say it was bad.  I'd say that kidney/liver cleanse drink cleans more than just the kidneys and liver!  I finally had to lay down and not move AT ALL in order to make it all stop.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 12

DAY 12:
Weight - 151 - gained 2 pounds.

I don't know what's going on today, but I gained 2 pounds, and am in just the foulest mood ever.  I hate my house and how dirty it is, I can't keep myself on the 2 hour "feeding" schedule, my pen just freaking burst all over me, my clothes and my desk, and I can't concentrate at all.

I haven't gone #2 in days, and I'm just hating today.  Bills are stressing me out, and I really want to just lay down and sleep or something.  I want to clean and pay bills, but it makes me mad and I can't concentrate on it.  Now, I have a business appointment later today that I have to go back into the office for, but I don't really want to be around people at all.

Is this more healing crisis, I wonder?  I didn't have any soup last night because it just disgusted me to smell it.  I had my first feeding today, and I'm hungry now but just haven't made any drinks.  After today, I'll be out of green drink, so I'll have to spend like $30 to get more for my last 10 days.  Just very unhappy.

I'm going to go ahead and juice to get it out of the way and just skip over my 10:30 feeding and see if that helps.  I'm wearing down and starting to feel really weak and yucky, and can't wait for this day to be over.

Maybe this is in fact more healing crisis, since I didn't really have anything more than a headache and joint pain in the beginning.  Oh, and the cat pissed on my daughter's coat, and she put it on and got into my truck.  Now my truck reeks of it, as does my whole house, and she probably does too.  I brought her back home and had her change her coat, but man... what a shitty day.  I don't know why I feel so angry and combative, but I just do.  Also, this is just a bunch of pissy rambling, so I apologize for that as well.

Just want this day to be over.  And I want food. Food. Food.  Food.  Food.  I know I'm not going to fall off the detox wagon, but just need to get these feelings out I guess.  I hope blogging about it will put things into perspective and I can make it through the day.  I'm going to text my husband and warn him that today sucks before I blow up at him when he gets home for no reason.  I am looking forward to just climbing into bed when I get home and sleeping this funk off.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 11

DAY 11:
So it appears my detox isn't so ghetto after all.  Sure, I'm not following the "21 Pounds in 21 Days" book to the letter, but you know what?  It's freaking working for me!

After sleeping better last night, I woke up early and did the coffee enema, because I'm actually constipated.  How you can be constipated on an all liquid diet is beyond me, but welcome to my weird body, I guess.  My "cups of coffee" weren't effective for me this morning, and I ended up feeling really disappointed that I'd spent 20 minutes worth of prep work (positioning towels, filling bottles, getting settled, finding a book to read, etc) for nothing.  As I mentioned before, I'm not using the true "enema bag" that holds I guess a LOT more liquid than the little cheap-o bottles.  I know nothing of this, as this is the first time in my life I've ever done any kind of booty cleansing.  Going to swing by Walgreen's and see if they have one.  It would be freaking sweet if I could find it right away, and not have to ask someone who works there where it is- how embarrassing!

After my shower, I weighed myself.

Weight = 149 - that's 21 pounds lost, MotherHumpers!


I'm sorry to refer to you as a MotherHumper, but I'm just really excited.  Using the "21 pounds in 21 days" detox diet, I have now lost 21 pounds in HALF the time!  I'm feeling like a freaking rock star today, and no one can tell me any different.

After weighing, I was feelinga bit  froggy and decided to try on my "old" favorite pair of size 10 jeans, which I haven't been able to even pull up over my hips for about 2 years.  Guess what?  They fit great, with even a little extra room!  This is such a good day!  I almost cried (and peed) a little.

Of course, I'm still craving real food whenever any of my 5, 6, or 7 senses detect food, but I'm sure that won't go away.  (By the way, my fellow detoxer and BFF Ashley and I have decided that your Sixth sense is Common, and your Seventh sense is Of Humor.  Figure it out, then write that down.)  My daughter has asked for French Toast for breakfast this weekend, and I'm planning on making it for her, and hoping it won't bother me too much!

Since this is Day 11, that means I've officially hit the HALF WAY point of this detox!  This detox and I definitely have a Love/Hate relationship, and today I'm loving it AND bitch slapping it in the face simultaneously!!!

PS...  I'm starting to smell like vegetables.  It's not just me, ask my BFF Ashley.  Check out her Detox Journey at Journey to a Better Me.
PPS... Any kind of herbal tea with the word "Zinger" in the title pretty much rocks.  Nice and sour and a great change from the "ho hum" normal teas.

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 10

DAY 10
Hello, Day 10!  I'm pretty much half-way through!  The slacks I put on today look great on me, and I'm losing a lot of my butt (which my husband isn't too excited about).  I want my belly to just fall off - that would be amazing.

Weight:  151 - 19 pounds lost!

While my body is feeling good, I once again tossed and turned ALL night.  I mean literally tossed and turned - my hips and knees ache really bad today.  I don't know what my problem is, but last night I felt like I was freezing to death, and could NOT get warm.  I had set my alarm for 5:30am so I could get up and do my coffee enema today, but one look at the clock and I shut that idea down.  In between hitting the snooze button 24,000 times, I slept until 7:00am.

Today, I'm a little off on my schedule, but am drinking buttloads of water.  I need to remember that damn SleepyTime tea tonight!

11:15am - I've started gagging at the last gulp of every green drink, and I just about blew chunks on my laptop.

Lunch - Went home and juiced cucumbers and tomatoes, since I hadn't juiced for a day or so.

Dinner - A few nights a week, I work as a bartender/waitress at a small bar & grill in Olpe, a town about 10 miles away from me.  I had to work tonight right after I got done at the office, and I found out last week that trying to haul soup down there just wasn't worth it.  So, I had a green drink instead of soup along with my supplements at work, but was RAVENOUS when I got home.  I went ahead and warmed up some leftover broccoli/onion/extremely hot pepper soup from a night ago.  It was extremely spicy, but helped kill some of the suckishness of the soup.  I drink some SleepyTime Tea, threw another blanket on me, and slept pretty darn good.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 9

DAY 9
It's Monday again, and I'm feeling good about being back at work.  The pair of slacks I put on today fit me nicely (they usually don't) and I'm hoping to get back on schedule with my feedings, after my really slack weekend.  I'm planning on pumping myself full of water to make up for not having enough over the weekend, and to hopefully kick out some of the nicotine in my system.

I ended up staying at work all day and not taking a lunch.  Instead of juicing at noon, I just had a green drink.  Nasty, yes.  But, for the first time since my early 20's, I've rekindled my long-lost ability to chug a beverage.  I've got it down to a science: Pick a spot on the wall to stare at so I don't have to look at the green mess in my bottle, don't breathe, and I can have that sucker knocked back in 10 gulps flat!  Woo hoo!  It's just like my old bar-rat days - only it's not fun, and you don't get drunk.  On the positive side, slamming green drinks doesn't give me a hangover.

When I got home from work, I hung out with the family in the shop, and had, yep, about a half a pack of cigarettes.  What is wrong with me?  They make my throat feel like ass the next day, but they're my smoky treats.  It sounds ridiculous, but smoking is like a hobby to me.  It's what I do to relax and unwind.  I'm finding that it's really hard to cold turkey quit drinking, smoking, biting my nails (because you're not supposed to CHEW anything) and EATING all at once.  I'm trying not to smoke, but also I'm not going to beat myself up about it for now.  I really would like to quit, but I don't know that now is the time.  This not eating thing is pretty stressful.  Here I am making excuses again.  My worry is that since smoking is basically reintroducing toxins into my body, that it will slow or stop my weight loss progress.

My daughter also reminded me that I've gotten away from walking a mile daily as the detox suggests, to get my bowels moving.  I'll have to do better on that.  But not tonight.

By the time Justin and I went inside it was already 10:00.  I didn't want the leftover soup in the fridge, and I didn't want to spend 45 minutes cooking up a fresh one, so I slammed a green drink, took my pills, and headed to bed.

My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 8

DAY 8
On Sunday, our daughter was over playing at a friend's house.  My husband, Justin, came with me to show a house in the country to our friends.  Then, we did a little boonie cruising out to another friend's house to pick up our log splitter and take it back to town.  On our leisurely ride back, we were talking and looking at houses.  We were both looking off to the side at a pretty cool house as we crested a hill.  The next thing we know, BAM!  We plowed about 75 feet into a 3 foot snow drift across the road!  It appears the road grader stopped clearing the road at the top of the hill.  Fantastic.  Now, my husband's truck is no weenie - he's got a Dodge Ram Diesel with some kind of a Turbo Power Box that makes it extra cool.  I think it just makes it extra loud.  Anyhow, we spent the next hour digging and spinning our wheels trying to get out.  Unfortunately, the ruts we were making were just pulling us into the ditch, where the snow was probably 4 feet deep!  We finally gave up and started calling people for help (which hurt my husband's pride a LOT more than he tried to let on!)  While we were waiting on a hero, I decided "hell - while we're here, I may as well take pictures!"





 My brother came out and was able to yank us out of the mess.  I had missed 2 feedings by that time and was absolutely famished.  Also, I had a really bad cigarette day - sitting stuck in a truck didn't help matters.