DAY 16:
Back to work today, and I am unhappy that I am at a weight stand-still. I am going to stick to my 2-hour drink plan as best I can today. All went okay. In the evening, I made a soup and smashed it up instead of puree-ing the veggies. My husband caught me chewing a little bit.
Oh well, it's almost over. I'm just trying to get through it.
I'm starting to read over and plan for the 7 days after the detox ends. You can't just start eating regular food again right away, as it would be a shock to your system, and could potentially make you very very sick. You have to wean yourself back on to real food. A small salad never sounded so good to me!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Days 13, 14, 15
DAYS 13, 14, 15:
Weight: Hovering between 149 - 151. No weight loss since Day 11.
Fortunately, I am feeling better after a horrid Day 12. I ended up taking 2 hour-long naps that day in between work appointments, then fell asleep on the couch around 7:30pm and was done for the night. I think I was just waaaay off my schedule and not getting enough nutrients, and my body sure let me know about it! At that point in time, I was so sick of the disgusting drinks and disgusting soup that I'd rather not eat at ALL than have to choke that stuff down.
On Day 13, I decided to stray from the rules just a bit. I added a potato to my broccoli soup. I left it in the crock pot for an extra long time so everything was soft. Then, instead of putting it into the blender, I mashed it all up with a fork. I still didn't have to chew, and the consistency was a lot better. I also started really experimenting with some new spices that I've never tried before - I am really liking Tumeric and Curry Powder. I guess they are Indian seasonings, but they are spicy and great, and help me forget that I'm still just eating veggies. I also started making smaller batches of soup. If I have to put them in the fridge overnight, I will NOT eat them the next day. Not sure why, but they just look disgusting and I can't bring myself to reheat it.
On top of my soup troubles, I did go to GNC to buy some more green drink powder. I bought a canister that was on sale for $19.99. I figured, "what the hell." After I tasted it and suppressed a vomiting spell, I again was thinking, "WHAT THE HELL!?!" This stuff tastes and smells worse than the first green drink I had. Sure, it dissolves in water much better, but the taste is so bitter and terrible that I put off having it. Once again, I just have to chug it down and do my best not to yak. I'm sure that "you get what you pay for" should come into play now, because my BFF Ashley who was doing the detox with me said her green drinks tasted great.
My weekend, Days 14 and 15, were pretty busy for me, work-wise. I was out driving around town showing houses all weekend, and as much as I tried to keep my schedule up, I just couldn't. I did, however, make "spinach soup" for dinner, which was basically spinach cooked extra long in water. I added a little vinegar and ate it. Again, I didn't put it in the blender, but it was soft enough that I didn't have to chew it, and it tasted great! I have always loved spinach. I may be living on it for the rest of this diet, because that's the only thing that has sounded remotely good here lately.
I am now past the point of needing to stay FAR away from any kind of real food, or averting my gaze and focusing hard on something else when I drive by Taco Bell. Now I WANT to see and smell food. I talk about food all the time. I ask my husband and daughter how their food tastes. I can prepare food and know that I won't let myself lick the fork and/or plate. I look at recipes online all the time. In my defense, I am actually looking for low-cal and low-sodium recipes to collect. I'm reading up a lot on sodium and how to stay away from it. I would say that a majority of my weight loss has been from losing "water weight". I realize that I have to change my - and my family's - eating habits. No more box dinners, frozen foods, fast food, etc. I need to start cooking actual MEALS, and healthy ones at that. I'm hoping to find a lot of good healthy crock pot recipes, and I'm collecting recipes for healthy burritos, mini pizzas, etc. that I can put in the freezer to try to replace some of our normal store-bought, sodium-ridden frozen foods. My family is on board with a change, so we'll see what happens.
Day 15 (Sunday): I slept in and didn't get started with my drink schedule until 10:30am or so. I also made myself the kidney/liver flush drink that I was supposed to have done on Day 6 (couldn't find parsley - go figure). I don't know if I even made it right, because parsley and other leafy veggies just don't juice well in a conventional juicer. You need a special "wheatgrass" juicer for that type of stuff. So, out of 2 large bunches of parsley, I got maybe MAYBE a 1/4 c. of juice. The rest was just basically chopped up and dumped into the "garbage bin" of the juicer. (NOTE: There was a LOT of chopped up parsley, and I didn't want to throw it away, so I spread it out on some paper towels and let it dry out. I'm going to put it in an herb shaker and keep it to use as a "seasoning".) I dumped in 1/4 c. of organic Black Cherry juice (which is great tasting) and drank it. Within 5 minutes, I was in the bathroom taking the crap of a lifetime. For the next 8 - 10 hours, I was in the bathroom about every 15 minutes. Terrible gas, terrible cramping, etc. To spare you the gory details, let's just say it was bad. I'd say that kidney/liver cleanse drink cleans more than just the kidneys and liver! I finally had to lay down and not move AT ALL in order to make it all stop.
Weight: Hovering between 149 - 151. No weight loss since Day 11.
Fortunately, I am feeling better after a horrid Day 12. I ended up taking 2 hour-long naps that day in between work appointments, then fell asleep on the couch around 7:30pm and was done for the night. I think I was just waaaay off my schedule and not getting enough nutrients, and my body sure let me know about it! At that point in time, I was so sick of the disgusting drinks and disgusting soup that I'd rather not eat at ALL than have to choke that stuff down.
On Day 13, I decided to stray from the rules just a bit. I added a potato to my broccoli soup. I left it in the crock pot for an extra long time so everything was soft. Then, instead of putting it into the blender, I mashed it all up with a fork. I still didn't have to chew, and the consistency was a lot better. I also started really experimenting with some new spices that I've never tried before - I am really liking Tumeric and Curry Powder. I guess they are Indian seasonings, but they are spicy and great, and help me forget that I'm still just eating veggies. I also started making smaller batches of soup. If I have to put them in the fridge overnight, I will NOT eat them the next day. Not sure why, but they just look disgusting and I can't bring myself to reheat it.
On top of my soup troubles, I did go to GNC to buy some more green drink powder. I bought a canister that was on sale for $19.99. I figured, "what the hell." After I tasted it and suppressed a vomiting spell, I again was thinking, "WHAT THE HELL!?!" This stuff tastes and smells worse than the first green drink I had. Sure, it dissolves in water much better, but the taste is so bitter and terrible that I put off having it. Once again, I just have to chug it down and do my best not to yak. I'm sure that "you get what you pay for" should come into play now, because my BFF Ashley who was doing the detox with me said her green drinks tasted great.
My weekend, Days 14 and 15, were pretty busy for me, work-wise. I was out driving around town showing houses all weekend, and as much as I tried to keep my schedule up, I just couldn't. I did, however, make "spinach soup" for dinner, which was basically spinach cooked extra long in water. I added a little vinegar and ate it. Again, I didn't put it in the blender, but it was soft enough that I didn't have to chew it, and it tasted great! I have always loved spinach. I may be living on it for the rest of this diet, because that's the only thing that has sounded remotely good here lately.
I am now past the point of needing to stay FAR away from any kind of real food, or averting my gaze and focusing hard on something else when I drive by Taco Bell. Now I WANT to see and smell food. I talk about food all the time. I ask my husband and daughter how their food tastes. I can prepare food and know that I won't let myself lick the fork and/or plate. I look at recipes online all the time. In my defense, I am actually looking for low-cal and low-sodium recipes to collect. I'm reading up a lot on sodium and how to stay away from it. I would say that a majority of my weight loss has been from losing "water weight". I realize that I have to change my - and my family's - eating habits. No more box dinners, frozen foods, fast food, etc. I need to start cooking actual MEALS, and healthy ones at that. I'm hoping to find a lot of good healthy crock pot recipes, and I'm collecting recipes for healthy burritos, mini pizzas, etc. that I can put in the freezer to try to replace some of our normal store-bought, sodium-ridden frozen foods. My family is on board with a change, so we'll see what happens.
Day 15 (Sunday): I slept in and didn't get started with my drink schedule until 10:30am or so. I also made myself the kidney/liver flush drink that I was supposed to have done on Day 6 (couldn't find parsley - go figure). I don't know if I even made it right, because parsley and other leafy veggies just don't juice well in a conventional juicer. You need a special "wheatgrass" juicer for that type of stuff. So, out of 2 large bunches of parsley, I got maybe MAYBE a 1/4 c. of juice. The rest was just basically chopped up and dumped into the "garbage bin" of the juicer. (NOTE: There was a LOT of chopped up parsley, and I didn't want to throw it away, so I spread it out on some paper towels and let it dry out. I'm going to put it in an herb shaker and keep it to use as a "seasoning".) I dumped in 1/4 c. of organic Black Cherry juice (which is great tasting) and drank it. Within 5 minutes, I was in the bathroom taking the crap of a lifetime. For the next 8 - 10 hours, I was in the bathroom about every 15 minutes. Terrible gas, terrible cramping, etc. To spare you the gory details, let's just say it was bad. I'd say that kidney/liver cleanse drink cleans more than just the kidneys and liver! I finally had to lay down and not move AT ALL in order to make it all stop.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 12
DAY 12:
Weight - 151 - gained 2 pounds.
I don't know what's going on today, but I gained 2 pounds, and am in just the foulest mood ever. I hate my house and how dirty it is, I can't keep myself on the 2 hour "feeding" schedule, my pen just freaking burst all over me, my clothes and my desk, and I can't concentrate at all.
I haven't gone #2 in days, and I'm just hating today. Bills are stressing me out, and I really want to just lay down and sleep or something. I want to clean and pay bills, but it makes me mad and I can't concentrate on it. Now, I have a business appointment later today that I have to go back into the office for, but I don't really want to be around people at all.
Is this more healing crisis, I wonder? I didn't have any soup last night because it just disgusted me to smell it. I had my first feeding today, and I'm hungry now but just haven't made any drinks. After today, I'll be out of green drink, so I'll have to spend like $30 to get more for my last 10 days. Just very unhappy.
I'm going to go ahead and juice to get it out of the way and just skip over my 10:30 feeding and see if that helps. I'm wearing down and starting to feel really weak and yucky, and can't wait for this day to be over.
Maybe this is in fact more healing crisis, since I didn't really have anything more than a headache and joint pain in the beginning. Oh, and the cat pissed on my daughter's coat, and she put it on and got into my truck. Now my truck reeks of it, as does my whole house, and she probably does too. I brought her back home and had her change her coat, but man... what a shitty day. I don't know why I feel so angry and combative, but I just do. Also, this is just a bunch of pissy rambling, so I apologize for that as well.
Just want this day to be over. And I want food. Food. Food. Food. Food. I know I'm not going to fall off the detox wagon, but just need to get these feelings out I guess. I hope blogging about it will put things into perspective and I can make it through the day. I'm going to text my husband and warn him that today sucks before I blow up at him when he gets home for no reason. I am looking forward to just climbing into bed when I get home and sleeping this funk off.
Weight - 151 - gained 2 pounds.
I don't know what's going on today, but I gained 2 pounds, and am in just the foulest mood ever. I hate my house and how dirty it is, I can't keep myself on the 2 hour "feeding" schedule, my pen just freaking burst all over me, my clothes and my desk, and I can't concentrate at all.
I haven't gone #2 in days, and I'm just hating today. Bills are stressing me out, and I really want to just lay down and sleep or something. I want to clean and pay bills, but it makes me mad and I can't concentrate on it. Now, I have a business appointment later today that I have to go back into the office for, but I don't really want to be around people at all.
Is this more healing crisis, I wonder? I didn't have any soup last night because it just disgusted me to smell it. I had my first feeding today, and I'm hungry now but just haven't made any drinks. After today, I'll be out of green drink, so I'll have to spend like $30 to get more for my last 10 days. Just very unhappy.
I'm going to go ahead and juice to get it out of the way and just skip over my 10:30 feeding and see if that helps. I'm wearing down and starting to feel really weak and yucky, and can't wait for this day to be over.
Maybe this is in fact more healing crisis, since I didn't really have anything more than a headache and joint pain in the beginning. Oh, and the cat pissed on my daughter's coat, and she put it on and got into my truck. Now my truck reeks of it, as does my whole house, and she probably does too. I brought her back home and had her change her coat, but man... what a shitty day. I don't know why I feel so angry and combative, but I just do. Also, this is just a bunch of pissy rambling, so I apologize for that as well.
Just want this day to be over. And I want food. Food. Food. Food. Food. I know I'm not going to fall off the detox wagon, but just need to get these feelings out I guess. I hope blogging about it will put things into perspective and I can make it through the day. I'm going to text my husband and warn him that today sucks before I blow up at him when he gets home for no reason. I am looking forward to just climbing into bed when I get home and sleeping this funk off.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 11
DAY 11:
So it appears my detox isn't so ghetto after all. Sure, I'm not following the "21 Pounds in 21 Days" book to the letter, but you know what? It's freaking working for me!
After sleeping better last night, I woke up early and did the coffee enema, because I'm actually constipated. How you can be constipated on an all liquid diet is beyond me, but welcome to my weird body, I guess. My "cups of coffee" weren't effective for me this morning, and I ended up feeling really disappointed that I'd spent 20 minutes worth of prep work (positioning towels, filling bottles, getting settled, finding a book to read, etc) for nothing. As I mentioned before, I'm not using the true "enema bag" that holds I guess a LOT more liquid than the little cheap-o bottles. I know nothing of this, as this is the first time in my life I've ever done any kind of booty cleansing. Going to swing by Walgreen's and see if they have one. It would be freaking sweet if I could find it right away, and not have to ask someone who works there where it is- how embarrassing!
After my shower, I weighed myself.
Weight = 149 - that's 21 pounds lost, MotherHumpers!
I'm sorry to refer to you as a MotherHumper, but I'm just really excited. Using the "21 pounds in 21 days" detox diet, I have now lost 21 pounds in HALF the time! I'm feeling like a freaking rock star today, and no one can tell me any different.
After weighing, I was feelinga bit froggy and decided to try on my "old" favorite pair of size 10 jeans, which I haven't been able to even pull up over my hips for about 2 years. Guess what? They fit great, with even a little extra room! This is such a good day! I almost cried (and peed) a little.
Of course, I'm still craving real food whenever any of my 5, 6, or 7 senses detect food, but I'm sure that won't go away. (By the way, my fellow detoxer and BFF Ashley and I have decided that your Sixth sense is Common, and your Seventh sense is Of Humor. Figure it out, then write that down.) My daughter has asked for French Toast for breakfast this weekend, and I'm planning on making it for her, and hoping it won't bother me too much!
Since this is Day 11, that means I've officially hit the HALF WAY point of this detox! This detox and I definitely have a Love/Hate relationship, and today I'm loving it AND bitch slapping it in the face simultaneously!!!
PS... I'm starting to smell like vegetables. It's not just me, ask my BFF Ashley. Check out her Detox Journey at Journey to a Better Me.
PPS... Any kind of herbal tea with the word "Zinger" in the title pretty much rocks. Nice and sour and a great change from the "ho hum" normal teas.
So it appears my detox isn't so ghetto after all. Sure, I'm not following the "21 Pounds in 21 Days" book to the letter, but you know what? It's freaking working for me!
After sleeping better last night, I woke up early and did the coffee enema, because I'm actually constipated. How you can be constipated on an all liquid diet is beyond me, but welcome to my weird body, I guess. My "cups of coffee" weren't effective for me this morning, and I ended up feeling really disappointed that I'd spent 20 minutes worth of prep work (positioning towels, filling bottles, getting settled, finding a book to read, etc) for nothing. As I mentioned before, I'm not using the true "enema bag" that holds I guess a LOT more liquid than the little cheap-o bottles. I know nothing of this, as this is the first time in my life I've ever done any kind of booty cleansing. Going to swing by Walgreen's and see if they have one. It would be freaking sweet if I could find it right away, and not have to ask someone who works there where it is- how embarrassing!
After my shower, I weighed myself.
Weight = 149 - that's 21 pounds lost, MotherHumpers!
I'm sorry to refer to you as a MotherHumper, but I'm just really excited. Using the "21 pounds in 21 days" detox diet, I have now lost 21 pounds in HALF the time! I'm feeling like a freaking rock star today, and no one can tell me any different.
After weighing, I was feelinga bit froggy and decided to try on my "old" favorite pair of size 10 jeans, which I haven't been able to even pull up over my hips for about 2 years. Guess what? They fit great, with even a little extra room! This is such a good day! I almost cried (and peed) a little.
Of course, I'm still craving real food whenever any of my 5, 6, or 7 senses detect food, but I'm sure that won't go away. (By the way, my fellow detoxer and BFF Ashley and I have decided that your Sixth sense is Common, and your Seventh sense is Of Humor. Figure it out, then write that down.) My daughter has asked for French Toast for breakfast this weekend, and I'm planning on making it for her, and hoping it won't bother me too much!
Since this is Day 11, that means I've officially hit the HALF WAY point of this detox! This detox and I definitely have a Love/Hate relationship, and today I'm loving it AND bitch slapping it in the face simultaneously!!!
PS... I'm starting to smell like vegetables. It's not just me, ask my BFF Ashley. Check out her Detox Journey at Journey to a Better Me.
PPS... Any kind of herbal tea with the word "Zinger" in the title pretty much rocks. Nice and sour and a great change from the "ho hum" normal teas.
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 10
DAY 10
Hello, Day 10! I'm pretty much half-way through! The slacks I put on today look great on me, and I'm losing a lot of my butt (which my husband isn't too excited about). I want my belly to just fall off - that would be amazing.
Weight: 151 - 19 pounds lost!
While my body is feeling good, I once again tossed and turned ALL night. I mean literally tossed and turned - my hips and knees ache really bad today. I don't know what my problem is, but last night I felt like I was freezing to death, and could NOT get warm. I had set my alarm for 5:30am so I could get up and do my coffee enema today, but one look at the clock and I shut that idea down. In between hitting the snooze button 24,000 times, I slept until 7:00am.
Today, I'm a little off on my schedule, but am drinking buttloads of water. I need to remember that damn SleepyTime tea tonight!
11:15am - I've started gagging at the last gulp of every green drink, and I just about blew chunks on my laptop.
Lunch - Went home and juiced cucumbers and tomatoes, since I hadn't juiced for a day or so.
Dinner - A few nights a week, I work as a bartender/waitress at a small bar & grill in Olpe, a town about 10 miles away from me. I had to work tonight right after I got done at the office, and I found out last week that trying to haul soup down there just wasn't worth it. So, I had a green drink instead of soup along with my supplements at work, but was RAVENOUS when I got home. I went ahead and warmed up some leftover broccoli/onion/extremely hot pepper soup from a night ago. It was extremely spicy, but helped kill some of the suckishness of the soup. I drink some SleepyTime Tea, threw another blanket on me, and slept pretty darn good.
Hello, Day 10! I'm pretty much half-way through! The slacks I put on today look great on me, and I'm losing a lot of my butt (which my husband isn't too excited about). I want my belly to just fall off - that would be amazing.
Weight: 151 - 19 pounds lost!
While my body is feeling good, I once again tossed and turned ALL night. I mean literally tossed and turned - my hips and knees ache really bad today. I don't know what my problem is, but last night I felt like I was freezing to death, and could NOT get warm. I had set my alarm for 5:30am so I could get up and do my coffee enema today, but one look at the clock and I shut that idea down. In between hitting the snooze button 24,000 times, I slept until 7:00am.
Today, I'm a little off on my schedule, but am drinking buttloads of water. I need to remember that damn SleepyTime tea tonight!
11:15am - I've started gagging at the last gulp of every green drink, and I just about blew chunks on my laptop.
Lunch - Went home and juiced cucumbers and tomatoes, since I hadn't juiced for a day or so.
Dinner - A few nights a week, I work as a bartender/waitress at a small bar & grill in Olpe, a town about 10 miles away from me. I had to work tonight right after I got done at the office, and I found out last week that trying to haul soup down there just wasn't worth it. So, I had a green drink instead of soup along with my supplements at work, but was RAVENOUS when I got home. I went ahead and warmed up some leftover broccoli/onion/extremely hot pepper soup from a night ago. It was extremely spicy, but helped kill some of the suckishness of the soup. I drink some SleepyTime Tea, threw another blanket on me, and slept pretty darn good.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 9
DAY 9
It's Monday again, and I'm feeling good about being back at work. The pair of slacks I put on today fit me nicely (they usually don't) and I'm hoping to get back on schedule with my feedings, after my really slack weekend. I'm planning on pumping myself full of water to make up for not having enough over the weekend, and to hopefully kick out some of the nicotine in my system.
I ended up staying at work all day and not taking a lunch. Instead of juicing at noon, I just had a green drink. Nasty, yes. But, for the first time since my early 20's, I've rekindled my long-lost ability to chug a beverage. I've got it down to a science: Pick a spot on the wall to stare at so I don't have to look at the green mess in my bottle, don't breathe, and I can have that sucker knocked back in 10 gulps flat! Woo hoo! It's just like my old bar-rat days - only it's not fun, and you don't get drunk. On the positive side, slamming green drinks doesn't give me a hangover.
When I got home from work, I hung out with the family in the shop, and had, yep, about a half a pack of cigarettes. What is wrong with me? They make my throat feel like ass the next day, but they're my smoky treats. It sounds ridiculous, but smoking is like a hobby to me. It's what I do to relax and unwind. I'm finding that it's really hard to cold turkey quit drinking, smoking, biting my nails (because you're not supposed to CHEW anything) and EATING all at once. I'm trying not to smoke, but also I'm not going to beat myself up about it for now. I really would like to quit, but I don't know that now is the time. This not eating thing is pretty stressful. Here I am making excuses again. My worry is that since smoking is basically reintroducing toxins into my body, that it will slow or stop my weight loss progress.
My daughter also reminded me that I've gotten away from walking a mile daily as the detox suggests, to get my bowels moving. I'll have to do better on that. But not tonight.
By the time Justin and I went inside it was already 10:00. I didn't want the leftover soup in the fridge, and I didn't want to spend 45 minutes cooking up a fresh one, so I slammed a green drink, took my pills, and headed to bed.
It's Monday again, and I'm feeling good about being back at work. The pair of slacks I put on today fit me nicely (they usually don't) and I'm hoping to get back on schedule with my feedings, after my really slack weekend. I'm planning on pumping myself full of water to make up for not having enough over the weekend, and to hopefully kick out some of the nicotine in my system.
I ended up staying at work all day and not taking a lunch. Instead of juicing at noon, I just had a green drink. Nasty, yes. But, for the first time since my early 20's, I've rekindled my long-lost ability to chug a beverage. I've got it down to a science: Pick a spot on the wall to stare at so I don't have to look at the green mess in my bottle, don't breathe, and I can have that sucker knocked back in 10 gulps flat! Woo hoo! It's just like my old bar-rat days - only it's not fun, and you don't get drunk. On the positive side, slamming green drinks doesn't give me a hangover.
When I got home from work, I hung out with the family in the shop, and had, yep, about a half a pack of cigarettes. What is wrong with me? They make my throat feel like ass the next day, but they're my smoky treats. It sounds ridiculous, but smoking is like a hobby to me. It's what I do to relax and unwind. I'm finding that it's really hard to cold turkey quit drinking, smoking, biting my nails (because you're not supposed to CHEW anything) and EATING all at once. I'm trying not to smoke, but also I'm not going to beat myself up about it for now. I really would like to quit, but I don't know that now is the time. This not eating thing is pretty stressful. Here I am making excuses again. My worry is that since smoking is basically reintroducing toxins into my body, that it will slow or stop my weight loss progress.
My daughter also reminded me that I've gotten away from walking a mile daily as the detox suggests, to get my bowels moving. I'll have to do better on that. But not tonight.
By the time Justin and I went inside it was already 10:00. I didn't want the leftover soup in the fridge, and I didn't want to spend 45 minutes cooking up a fresh one, so I slammed a green drink, took my pills, and headed to bed.
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 8
DAY 8
On Sunday, our daughter was over playing at a friend's house. My husband, Justin, came with me to show a house in the country to our friends. Then, we did a little boonie cruising out to another friend's house to pick up our log splitter and take it back to town. On our leisurely ride back, we were talking and looking at houses. We were both looking off to the side at a pretty cool house as we crested a hill. The next thing we know, BAM! We plowed about 75 feet into a 3 foot snow drift across the road! It appears the road grader stopped clearing the road at the top of the hill. Fantastic. Now, my husband's truck is no weenie - he's got a Dodge Ram Diesel with some kind of a Turbo Power Box that makes it extra cool. I think it just makes it extra loud. Anyhow, we spent the next hour digging and spinning our wheels trying to get out. Unfortunately, the ruts we were making were just pulling us into the ditch, where the snow was probably 4 feet deep! We finally gave up and started calling people for help (which hurt my husband's pride a LOT more than he tried to let on!) While we were waiting on a hero, I decided "hell - while we're here, I may as well take pictures!"
My brother came out and was able to yank us out of the mess. I had missed 2 feedings by that time and was absolutely famished. Also, I had a really bad cigarette day - sitting stuck in a truck didn't help matters.
On Sunday, our daughter was over playing at a friend's house. My husband, Justin, came with me to show a house in the country to our friends. Then, we did a little boonie cruising out to another friend's house to pick up our log splitter and take it back to town. On our leisurely ride back, we were talking and looking at houses. We were both looking off to the side at a pretty cool house as we crested a hill. The next thing we know, BAM! We plowed about 75 feet into a 3 foot snow drift across the road! It appears the road grader stopped clearing the road at the top of the hill. Fantastic. Now, my husband's truck is no weenie - he's got a Dodge Ram Diesel with some kind of a Turbo Power Box that makes it extra cool. I think it just makes it extra loud. Anyhow, we spent the next hour digging and spinning our wheels trying to get out. Unfortunately, the ruts we were making were just pulling us into the ditch, where the snow was probably 4 feet deep! We finally gave up and started calling people for help (which hurt my husband's pride a LOT more than he tried to let on!) While we were waiting on a hero, I decided "hell - while we're here, I may as well take pictures!"
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 7
DAY 7
It's Saturday, so there's not a lot to report. I'm just trying my best to stay on schedule, but it's hard with it being the weekend. Also, there's a lot more down-time, and a lot more thinking of food on the weekends.
I haven't been sleeping well, waking up every few hours. Last night I'm pretty sure my own voice woke me up - I was having all kinds of dreams about things in the past that upset me or made me mad, and I think I was talking in my sleep (which I never do, to my knowledge). So, I'm not feeling very rested today, just kind of blah. I need to start taking that SleepyTime tea that I bought and see if that helps any.
It's Saturday, so there's not a lot to report. I'm just trying my best to stay on schedule, but it's hard with it being the weekend. Also, there's a lot more down-time, and a lot more thinking of food on the weekends.
I haven't been sleeping well, waking up every few hours. Last night I'm pretty sure my own voice woke me up - I was having all kinds of dreams about things in the past that upset me or made me mad, and I think I was talking in my sleep (which I never do, to my knowledge). So, I'm not feeling very rested today, just kind of blah. I need to start taking that SleepyTime tea that I bought and see if that helps any.
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 6
DAY 6
I was finally able to "drop some kids off" today. But one kid I didn't have to drop off today was my daugher, as school is cancelled again today.
When I'm not at work, I find it really hard to stick to the "every two hour" schedule for my supplements and drinks. I get busy and forget about it, and I have found that I actually PUT OFF having to drink the green drinks, because it literally tastes like I mowed my entire lawn with my mouth wide open. The weirdest thing is that the smell of it totally doesn't match the taste, which makes me want to blow chunks. Anyway, today I didn't have as much hot tea or water as I was supposed to.
I had 2 cigarettes.
I made cabbage, onion, and celery soup. I finally found Bragg's Liquid Aminos, which is an all natural seasoning - not unlike soy sauce - that I'm allowed to have in my soups. It really does help with flavor. I had a bit of soup for lunch today instead of juicing because I felt the urge to have real sustenance. I tried to have it again in the evening, but couldn't bring myself to eat it. I had a few bites and just quit. I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that it's a bowl full of purple sludge.
I went out this evening to run a few errands and try to buy 2 bunches of parsley, which I need to make this kidney/liver cleanse tea. The grocery store was out of parsley. Seriously, the last time I checked, parsley is not an IN DEMAND item. How can you be out of parsley? While I was standing there shaking my head and giving the fresh produce aisle the stink-eye, my husband texted and asked me to pick him up a #3 and a cheeseburger from Braum's (for those of you who don't know, Braum's is a truly legit fast food restaurant, and one of my favorite places to eat. Oh yeah, the #3 1/3 lb. Jalapeno burger is MY favorite as well). So, I got a little pissed, but I talked myself through it. I texted him back and told him I would, just to prove that I could be nice and civil and not throw a baby fit. I did it. The smell filled my whole truck. I cried the whole way home, and I was really not very nice to Justin when I got home. I stayed in the kitchen most of the night, and went to bed early.
I was finally able to "drop some kids off" today. But one kid I didn't have to drop off today was my daugher, as school is cancelled again today.
When I'm not at work, I find it really hard to stick to the "every two hour" schedule for my supplements and drinks. I get busy and forget about it, and I have found that I actually PUT OFF having to drink the green drinks, because it literally tastes like I mowed my entire lawn with my mouth wide open. The weirdest thing is that the smell of it totally doesn't match the taste, which makes me want to blow chunks. Anyway, today I didn't have as much hot tea or water as I was supposed to.
I had 2 cigarettes.
I made cabbage, onion, and celery soup. I finally found Bragg's Liquid Aminos, which is an all natural seasoning - not unlike soy sauce - that I'm allowed to have in my soups. It really does help with flavor. I had a bit of soup for lunch today instead of juicing because I felt the urge to have real sustenance. I tried to have it again in the evening, but couldn't bring myself to eat it. I had a few bites and just quit. I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that it's a bowl full of purple sludge.
I went out this evening to run a few errands and try to buy 2 bunches of parsley, which I need to make this kidney/liver cleanse tea. The grocery store was out of parsley. Seriously, the last time I checked, parsley is not an IN DEMAND item. How can you be out of parsley? While I was standing there shaking my head and giving the fresh produce aisle the stink-eye, my husband texted and asked me to pick him up a #3 and a cheeseburger from Braum's (for those of you who don't know, Braum's is a truly legit fast food restaurant, and one of my favorite places to eat. Oh yeah, the #3 1/3 lb. Jalapeno burger is MY favorite as well). So, I got a little pissed, but I talked myself through it. I texted him back and told him I would, just to prove that I could be nice and civil and not throw a baby fit. I did it. The smell filled my whole truck. I cried the whole way home, and I was really not very nice to Justin when I got home. I stayed in the kitchen most of the night, and went to bed early.
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 5
DAY 5
Weight: 155 - 15 pounds gone!
I woke up this morning feeling like my body is melting away, like it's someone else's body! My belly, which is my biggest problem, is smaller, my inner thighs don't rub together as much when I walk, and my pants are looser. My husband says he can notice my face thinning out as well.
BUT - after I got up and around, I got a dull headache and my neck feels really achy, the way I always feel just before the flu sets in. Also, 90% of my joints hurt, and a knee that I've had a disease in since middle school is absolutely killing me! Hello, healing crisis. Granted, part of this could be because of the sub-zero weather we've been having, but who knows. I'm worried about this "healing crisis" that the book goes in to great detail about. Apparently, since my body is not used to this much nutrition and "good stuff" coming in, it can actually reject the nutrition for a few days, making you feel weak and flu-like, and a number of other symptoms. Then, when your body finally gives in and accepts the good stuff, it starts expelling the toxins, which are stored in your fat cells for lack of a better place to put them. Also stored in the fat are chemicals from former emotions that you've had. So, when this healing crisis hits, the book really warns that your emotions will come flooding out too - it even goes as far as saying that if you have had a serious trauma or abuse in your past that you should schedule regular appointments with a therapist before-hand. That seems crazy weird to me, but I could go for a little "bad mojo out, good mojo in" stuff. But, I'm not really interested in becoming a blubbering idiot (any more so than I already am).
My daughter's school has been cancelled today due to the winter weather conditions, so I'm working from home today. I've decided to juice today in place of my gross-ass green drink. I found this green drink at AmazingGrass.com, and compared to other brands was the cheapest. A TIP: YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! I would much rather chug a cup of fresh veggie juice than try to choke THAT crap down. It's quite possible that I would prefer chugging urine before drinking that! I'm going to take it easy today and rest as much as possible so I'll hopefully feel better faster.
Also, not to be gross, but I'm wondering why I've only "dropped the kids off" like 4 times since I started this. I think I was expecting to be in the bathroom constantly, and that's just not the case. I need to go ahead and schedule a colonic to get things flowing, if you know what I mean.
Weight: 155 - 15 pounds gone!
I woke up this morning feeling like my body is melting away, like it's someone else's body! My belly, which is my biggest problem, is smaller, my inner thighs don't rub together as much when I walk, and my pants are looser. My husband says he can notice my face thinning out as well.
BUT - after I got up and around, I got a dull headache and my neck feels really achy, the way I always feel just before the flu sets in. Also, 90% of my joints hurt, and a knee that I've had a disease in since middle school is absolutely killing me! Hello, healing crisis. Granted, part of this could be because of the sub-zero weather we've been having, but who knows. I'm worried about this "healing crisis" that the book goes in to great detail about. Apparently, since my body is not used to this much nutrition and "good stuff" coming in, it can actually reject the nutrition for a few days, making you feel weak and flu-like, and a number of other symptoms. Then, when your body finally gives in and accepts the good stuff, it starts expelling the toxins, which are stored in your fat cells for lack of a better place to put them. Also stored in the fat are chemicals from former emotions that you've had. So, when this healing crisis hits, the book really warns that your emotions will come flooding out too - it even goes as far as saying that if you have had a serious trauma or abuse in your past that you should schedule regular appointments with a therapist before-hand. That seems crazy weird to me, but I could go for a little "bad mojo out, good mojo in" stuff. But, I'm not really interested in becoming a blubbering idiot (any more so than I already am).
My daughter's school has been cancelled today due to the winter weather conditions, so I'm working from home today. I've decided to juice today in place of my gross-ass green drink. I found this green drink at AmazingGrass.com, and compared to other brands was the cheapest. A TIP: YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! I would much rather chug a cup of fresh veggie juice than try to choke THAT crap down. It's quite possible that I would prefer chugging urine before drinking that! I'm going to take it easy today and rest as much as possible so I'll hopefully feel better faster.
Also, not to be gross, but I'm wondering why I've only "dropped the kids off" like 4 times since I started this. I think I was expecting to be in the bathroom constantly, and that's just not the case. I need to go ahead and schedule a colonic to get things flowing, if you know what I mean.
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 4
DAY 4
After a much better night of sleep, I got up 30 minutes early and set up for my very first ever coffee enema. I brewed 4 tablespoons of regular old coffee (not organic, as suggested) in my coffee maker with 6 cups of water (I also used tap water instead of the suggested distilled), put it into a tupper, and let it sit out overnight so it would be room temperature.
After a much better night of sleep, I got up 30 minutes early and set up for my very first ever coffee enema. I brewed 4 tablespoons of regular old coffee (not organic, as suggested) in my coffee maker with 6 cups of water (I also used tap water instead of the suggested distilled), put it into a tupper, and let it sit out overnight so it would be room temperature.
I also couldn't find the suggested enema bag, but I did get a double kit pre-filled enema bottles at the local drug store for less than $2.00. I dumped out whatever butt solution was in there, and put my coffee in. I laid towels on the floor of my bathroom, one rolled up to elevate my hips and hopefully send the coffee further into the depths of my bowels. I set the alarm on my phone for 15 minutes, used as much of both bottles as I could squeeze out, laid there and read a book for the full 15 minutes. It wasn't bad at all, other than the occasional urge to go, which I was able to suppress, because I wanted to get the full benefit of it, since I'm not doing the weekly colonics.
As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that this reall is the ghetto version of the Martha's Vineyard Detox. But, I'm trying to do it as affordably as possible, and still benefit from it.
I also took 5 minutes to brush my skin before showering. My skin has been really dry and cracky lately, and this seemed to help. It will probably make a big difference if I keep doing it!
Weight after coffee enema, 158/159. Only one-ish pound since yesterday.
I made a quick trip into the grocery store on the way to work, because the thought of another day full of green tea made me want to vom. I turned into the tea aisle, and bumped into (literally) a big Lipton display with brand new hot teas that have real pieces of fruit in them for flavor! Although this isn't a real "herbal" tea, and the ingredients have "corn starch" and "natural flavor" in them, I got it anyway. So I'm cheating with tea - sue me. I just wanted some flavor! And it's a really nice, flavorful change from the bitter green tea and lemon grass tea I've been having. I also bought an herbal sampler box and some sleepytime tea.
Today I have some gas and cramping. All I can say is that my tummy is making some really whack noises, and I hope no one walks into my office for the next 5 - 10 minutes. haha
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 3
DAY 3
Okay, this is absolutely crazy. I have weighed the same for about 2 years now - by my scales at home, it's always 170. I rarely weigh myself because it's depressing, and I feel I should give my poor little scales a break in between my weighings. But, for the purpose of tracking my progress, I weighed myself at my Mom's house on Day 1 - 171 pounds.
This morning, I decided to weigh myself just to see if anything was happening - my non-digital scale hovered between 159/160. I knelt down and looked at the numbers closer. I stepped off with a look of puzzlement on my face. I found my glasses and put them on, and stepped back on - 159/160.
10 POUNDS IN 2 DAYS? Is this for REAL?
At this point, my body feels maybe a little bit different, but I would NEVER have expected 10 pounds to melt off right away! I'm almost certain that most of this loss is water weight, because ever since my 20's I've had trouble with swelling, especially when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant, I looked and felt like one of those gel-filled stress squeezers.
I'm also trying to figure out how 10 pounds left my body! I mean, sure I've peed quite a bit, but not 10 pounds worth! And to be frank, I haven't really #2'd any more than usual either (which is sadly once every few days for me).
I am now super pumped about my decision to invest in this detox, because I'm actually seeing results! I hope this momentum keeps up!!!
This evening I could only choke down half of my soup. You'll probably hear me say this a lot - it's one thing to have vegetable soup. It's quite another to have pureed mush soup that tastes like vegetables. I'd rather eat nothing at all than that.
I'm also naughty and had 2 cigarettes.
Okay, this is absolutely crazy. I have weighed the same for about 2 years now - by my scales at home, it's always 170. I rarely weigh myself because it's depressing, and I feel I should give my poor little scales a break in between my weighings. But, for the purpose of tracking my progress, I weighed myself at my Mom's house on Day 1 - 171 pounds.
This morning, I decided to weigh myself just to see if anything was happening - my non-digital scale hovered between 159/160. I knelt down and looked at the numbers closer. I stepped off with a look of puzzlement on my face. I found my glasses and put them on, and stepped back on - 159/160.
10 POUNDS IN 2 DAYS? Is this for REAL?
At this point, my body feels maybe a little bit different, but I would NEVER have expected 10 pounds to melt off right away! I'm almost certain that most of this loss is water weight, because ever since my 20's I've had trouble with swelling, especially when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant, I looked and felt like one of those gel-filled stress squeezers.
I'm also trying to figure out how 10 pounds left my body! I mean, sure I've peed quite a bit, but not 10 pounds worth! And to be frank, I haven't really #2'd any more than usual either (which is sadly once every few days for me).
I am now super pumped about my decision to invest in this detox, because I'm actually seeing results! I hope this momentum keeps up!!!
This evening I could only choke down half of my soup. You'll probably hear me say this a lot - it's one thing to have vegetable soup. It's quite another to have pureed mush soup that tastes like vegetables. I'd rather eat nothing at all than that.
I'm also naughty and had 2 cigarettes.
Monday, January 11, 2010
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 2
DAY 2:
Aside from not sleeping well AT ALL last night, I'm really not feeling too bad. Being at work really helped keep my mind off of food! Although there are a few plates of leftover Christmas breads sitting around in the break room, I resisted the urge to grab one (mostly because they're growing hair). The green and berry drinks along with my colon cleansing pills are keeping me full, and I haven't really felt hungry. I went home for "lunch" and juiced my first glass of fresh veggie juice ever - I did 1 carrot, 1 wedge of red cabbage, 1/4 cucumber, and 2 onion petals. Um, not good. Onion juice makes me want to hurl. I chugged it, and went on with my day. I warmed up some leftover soup and broth from last night and drank it. I saved the leftover "veggie trash" from the juicer to throw into tonight's soup, to hopefully keep as many nutrients as possible going into my body.I had a little freak-out episode when I walked in the back door at home tonight. My husband was making oven-baked sloppy joes with Mac & Cheese, and was also cooking up a crock pot full of chili for him and my daughter, Dylan, to eat on for the next few days. Now, I didn't go outwardly crazy, I just freaked out on the inside, and got really quiet and grumpy. I was very short with Justin and cried a little. I tried my best not to react badly towards him, because he's been so supportive of me doing this, and I know he was trying to get all the cooking done BEFORE I got home, so I didn't have to go through the torture of making the meals myself. He basically left me alone, and I stayed in the kitchen and super-cleaned the kitchen, made my drink powder packets for tomorrow, and cooked some dinner soup, and I feel better. My daughter hates this diet and is really worried about me. "Who would make UP such a diet with NO FOOD, mom?"
Since there is a freaking blizzard and negative temperatures, and my gut was feeling a bit crampy, I went out to my husband's 30x40 carpentry shop behind our house and did a mile walk in there.
I've also added Vitamin C to my pill mix to help with cigarette cravings.
Overall, I felt good and had lots of energy and a positive mood today, until I was faced with real, chewable food.
My Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox - Day 1
I'm 30, and I've never stuck to a New Year's resolution, which sucks. Through the years, I've even decided to give up something that I didn't really care that much about (i.e. chocolate or soda, neither of which I'm addicted to or even crave) just to create a fake sense of accomplishment for myself.
This year is different. I'm just a few months away from 31, and for the past several years I've felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. And it shows. Not only am I overweight, and now weigh as much as I did FULL TERM PREGO with my daughter (who is now 6 years old), it also shows in the way I carry myself, my overall self confidence, and in my married life. Because, honestly I don't know how anyone could find my sexy - I sure don't, and it makes it hard for me to be intimate. I hear all this stuff about how "30 is the new 20" and how women really "come into their own" in their 30's and just start basically kicking ass and writing names down. I don't feel any of that.
So, a few months ago, my best friend Ashley gave me a book to borrow called "21 Pounds in 21 Days - The Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet". She told me she tried it herself in the past and made it 6 days, but lost around 11 pounds that stayed off. I read the book thoroughly, and then read it again, making notes all the way. Sure, the notion of losing that much weight in such a short amount of time sounds crazy, and a little unhealthy. But the book explained things about our bodies and our digestive system that was easy to understand and really made sense to me. I realized that my body is toxic - I'm basically a walking Atom Bomb, which has made me unable to lose weight. I decided I had to do it.
For about 5 or 6 months, I took notes, and talked my husband's ear off about it, explaining the good parts (weight loss, attitude change, overall appearance change) and the bad parts (emotions spilling out with the fat, side effects called a "healing crisis"), and the cost (around at least $200.00 - and that's doing it cheap). Even though I felt really selfish for spending all this money on a silly "diet that probably won't work", I held on to the hope that this could really change not only my body, but also my self-image. He told me to go for it.
So I am. Here's the basic breakdown of my next 21 Days: Every two hours, you drink either a natural concentrated berry or vegetable drink. Three times a day, you take colon cleansing and enzyme supplements. For lunch, a cup of fresh vegetable juice - and by fresh, I mean cutting up veggies, putting them into a juicer (which I had to purchase just for this detox), then drinking the juice immediately. For dinner, 2 cups of "cleansing soup" - this is throwing any kind of veggies and spices you want into water and cooking it. Sounds good, right? Well, then you have to fish out the veggies and puree them in a blender, then dump them back into the vegetable broth water. Cleansing soup = hot mush. Along with all of this, you are supposed to use only distilled water (for everything), use only fresh ORGANIC vegetables, give yourself coffee enemas, brush your skin with a natural bristle brush before showers, take detoxing baths, sit in saunas, and get colonics (a machine that flushes poo out of you).
This is where my detox becomes "The Ghetto Martha's Vineyard Detox". Since I'm a struggling real estate agent without lots of money or time to blow on this, I've made some exceptions to the rules that will allow me to complete this without breaking the pocketbook:
* I don't use distilled water - just plain ol' tap water or whatever kind is in the water cooler at work.
* I don't use fresh, organic veggies - I'm buying regular fresh veggies, not the ones that are certified "organic". I'm also using frozen bags of veggies that I find on sale, too. ALSO, I'm shopping the back rack of "past their prime" veggies that the grocery store puts on heavy discount - they may be a little shriveled, and may have lost a little bit of their nutrients, but at a big bag for $.75, who cares?
* I have no sauna available to sit in, unless I want to sneak into a hotel and use theirs. I am not getting colonics regularly, as they are $50 a pop, not to mention that the closest colonic center is 2 hours away.
I'm not sure if this will work since I'm skimping on so many things, but that's the best I can do, and here we go.
DAY ONE - January 3, 2010
My husband, daughter and I are making the 3 1/2 hour drive back home from a late Christmas weekend at my parents' house in Iowa. I gorged myself on yummy food over the past couple of holiday weeks, and am feeling ready to finally be starting!
I put my drink powders into baggies and brought lots of bottled water with me to make my drinks in the truck. I have a bladder the size of at least Rhode Island - I normally NEVER have to pee on this road trip, or really any others for that matter. With all the water intake and my special "green" and "berry" drinks, I made Justin stop 4 times on the way home. Then, when we got to our driveway, I scrambled out of the truck before it came to a full and complete stop and screamed "I call dibs on the bathroom!" In addition to making me pee like SeaBuscuit, it's also making it really hard for me to look at restaurant billboards and convenience store pizza.
Also, the book says it's very important that you not smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol during this detox, as it could potentially make you very sick. I am a smoker. I finished my pack of cigarettes on the way home, and called it good.
I wonder how many other bloggers are out there posting their New Years' Resolution progress for the world just like me... This blog, for me, will serve as my "Detox Diary", to journal my experience and to motivate me to continue. I know one other person who is doing the same - my best friend, Ashley, has decided to do the detox with me. To get the full effect of this detox, follow her blog, too, at Journey to a Better Me.
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